A Woman's Aching Prayer Request

By Jon Walker

“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting.” (Ephesians 5:25)

For a long time I carried in my wallet a deep, aching prayer request from a woman in my church. The request was anonymous, but it could have been made by any number of women across the country. In fact, it’s the number one complaint I hear from Christian women wherever and whenever I visit other congregations.

The request came my way in – and I give away my age by using this phrase – a prayer meeting. The pastor distributed blank pieces of paper and asked everyone present to write down one specific prayer need. Then he collected them all and randomly redistributed them. He asked us to pray for the request we received and for the person who made the request.

I say he redistributed these prayer requests randomly, but is anything random in God’s universe? When I opened the prayer request I had received, it took my breath away. It was written in pencil with an elegant script. It read, “Pray that my husband will be the spiritual leader in our home.”

It's an open secret that Christian men consistently and continually fail to provide godly leadership within the home. But I was particularly shocked by the request because just days before, my wife had made the same request of me. Here I was in ministry, yet my wife felt I was neglecting the spiritual nurturing of my own home. Sort of like the cobbler’s children being the ones with the worst shoes.

I’d come to the prayer meeting wrestling with this very issue, and when it came time for me to write my prayer request, I wrote out: “Pray that I will become the spiritual leader of my home.” My request also went out anonymously and, like a divine boomerang, this anonymous woman's request returned to me. There, in the same meeting, another family was struggling with the same problem, and because of my wife I knew how deeply this other woman’s heart ached.

• Pray for godly leadership – If you're not already doing so, start praying for godly leadership in your home and for the godly leadership in your home (note the distinction). Pray that husbands will trust God and provide humble, godly spiritual leadership.

• Lead with God’s wisdom – Ask God to give you (or your spouse) his wisdom and his strength to be the kind of Christian leader God requires: gentle, loving, and other-centered.

• Go “all out” for your wife – “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting.” (Ephesians 5:25)

• Pray for consistency – Pray for me, my friend. I’m still inconsistent and struggling in this area. And I will be praying for you.