Hope for Real Relationships When Disappointed

By Tom Holladay

“Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” Ephesians 4:2 (NLT)

"When we get to heaven, there will be no more disappointment or pain. Until then, you can choose to keep loving."

(Tom Holladay is a teaching pastor at Saddleback Church and author of The Relationship Principles of Jesus.)

If there is any high and low that is greater than any other, it is the high and low of relationships. You can experience the high of joy and the low of disappointment sometimes within minutes of each other.

When you find yourself struggling with each other’s faults, go to God with your disappointments.

Disappointments come into relationships because none of us are perfect. We have an idealized view of love, relationships, and marriage, and when reality doesn’t match up to this picture it leaves us disappointed.

We will never have the perfect wedding or the perfect marriage or the perfect family because we are imperfect, sinful people. The idea that two imperfect, sinful people can come together and have a perfect relationship is unrealistic. You need to adjust your expectations.

One of the reasons we are often disappointed in our relationships is because we’re asking another human being to meet needs that only God can meet. Another human being can’t promise you that they will always be with you or that they won’t fail you. Only God can meet those promises. He tells us in his Word, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Joshua 1:5 NIV).

When we get to heaven, there will be no more disappointment or pain. Until then, you can choose to keep loving. As 1 Corinthians 13:7 says, “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (NLT).