The Truth About Feelings

By Jon Walker

“… And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ ….” (Philippians 1:9-10 NIV)

Submitted now for your consideration is Pamela, a loving wife, a nurturing mother, a prayerful Christian. This morning her husband, Richard, left a tender note on the bathroom mirror, inviting Pamela to join him for lunch at their favorite restaurant.

Pamela eyes the clock all morning, anticipating meeting her life-long love at 1 p.m. She’s excited and feeling extraordinarily loved by her husband, so she leaves for the restaurant early so she can buy Richard a small gift. She splurges a little, buying two balloons that float from the ribbon around the present.

As she pays for the gift, she notices her cell phone isn’t in her purse – again. No matter, it’s 12:30 and in a few short minutes she’ll be with Richard, giving him her undivided attention. Who needs a cell phone in moments like that?

Pamela arrives at the restaurant first, and she patiently waits for Richard to arrive. What she doesn’t yet know is that there has been in a horrible, tragic traffic accident, and Richard died at about the time she was tying the balloons to his present, excitedly anticipating their romantic rendezvous.

The point to this painful snapshot is that our feelings don’t always reflect the truth. Pamela was soaring high on feelings of love, completely unaware of the awful truth bearing down on her. Her feelings are not yet in line with the truth.

Imagine Pamela as she waits for her husband. When he doesn’t arrive soon, she becomes annoyed. After 20 minutes, she’s irritated and hurt. Her feelings still do not line up with the truth.

By the time 40 minutes have passed, she is worrying. This just isn’t like Richard. Maybe something has happened. She borrows the restaurant's phone and calls Richard’s office. His boss says, “Pamela, we’ve been trying to reach you. There’s been a terrible accident ….” The truth and Pamela’s feelings collide – and become one.

There’s nothing wrong with our feelings; God gave them to us. As one of my friends often says, “Feelings are just feelings.” Sometimes they reflect the truth; often times they don’t. They can serve as an early warning system, such as when fear alerts us to danger, or they can draw your attention to the one God wants you to marry, when you feel an overwhelming sense of love.

But your feelings do not define the truth. Only God defines the truth. You may feel worthless, but the truth is you are uniquely created by God, who loves you deeply. You may feel like you can walk on water, but the truth is you can only do that if Jesus calls you from the boat. You can’t; God can.

The apostle Paul teaches us to discern the truth, not through our feelings, but through knowledge and insight. He writes, “… and this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ ….” (Philippians 1:9-10 NIV)

Eugene Peterson, in The Message paraphrase, translates that passage like this: “… You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush ….” (Philippians 1:9b-10a MSG) Otherwise, you end up in a life “shaped by things and feelings instead of God.” (Colossians 3:5 MSG)

Your feelings are from God; they are a gift, and there is no need to avoid them or be ashamed of them. However, God never meant for our feelings to measure our life and determine how we live it. Your feelings do not define you; they are not designed to interpret the situations you now face. Only God’s truth can define you, and only God’s truth can pass judgment on the circumstances of your life.

The great and best Good News is this: God’s truth is a person – Jesus Christ, our Lord.

So what?

• You are not your emotions – You are defined by God, not your emotions. You may not feel like it, but God says you are wonderfully and fearfully created in his image, accepted in the Beloved. He loves you no matter what you’ve done.

• God uses your feelings – God may use your feelings to reveal a piece of your heart that you need to turn over to him. He may use your feelings to draw you closer to him. Paul speaks of feeling like a wretched man, and that draws him deeper into the grace of God. Your feelings of hopelessness in a situation may be what God uses to show you that you’re hanging your hopes on the wrong thing – because he is the God of a hope that will not disappoint.

• Your obedience is based on the truth, not feelings – The facts may appear daunting, but it is up to God, not you and your feelings, to interpret the facts. God calls us to be obedient to the truth, not to the way we feel. As C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity, if you don’t love someone, behave as if you do, and your feelings will catch up.