Sharing Christ with Your Spouse

After having read some of the benefits of a Christ-centered marriage you may be wondering how to share Christ with your spouse. What should a believer say and how should he act in front of the spouse who is not a believer?

First, we must understand that having a spouse who is not willing to participate in the most sacred and important aspects of life are a very lonely and fragile place to be. It can be very disappointing and it could be so easy to translate those feelings into bitterness and contempt toward a spouse. But, of course, that is not the answer! Intercessory prayer is critical for this situation. It is active part evangelism. As spouse who is a believer, you must realize that you cannot change your husband or wife. Only God can do that.

Also, be careful not to become distant from your spouse. Pray that God will bring (or keep) you together. Your prayer should be twofold, asking God to help your spouse be responsive to him and to help you display the fruit of the Spirit. The Message describes this so well”  “What happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others…a sense of compassion in the heart…we find ourselves involved in loyal commitments…able to marshal and direct our energies wisely” ( Gal. 5:22-23 Message). When we are active in our prayer life, we will discover that our testimony may be less about what we say and more about how we act.

It is also important to learn how to best approach our spouse concerning spiritual issues. Gary Thomas gives an excellent study on this topic that is defined as “sacred pathways.” Basically, just as in school we learn in different ways, we learn spirituality through different means. It is important to discover what would attract our spouse to Christ. Is our spouse more responsive to a naturalist, traditionalist, or enthusiast? Most spouses will reach out only in the path that is their favorite, not in their partner’s path. Consequently, what brings one spouse the most joy may bring only emptiness and confusion in the life of the other.

Finally, above all else, we must love our spouse. We must stop trying to change our spouse and focus instead on his or her positive qualities. As followers of Christ we have experienced unconditional love. God loved us before our relationship with him ever started. We must love our spouse in the same way. This means respecting her likes, dislikes, interests, and choices. It means being willing to be involved in and support his commitments and dreams, unless these things would violate biblical teachings. Once again, it is how we live out our life—by our words, actions, and attitudes—that will influence our spouse.