After having read some of the benefits of a Christ-centered
marriage you may be wondering how to share Christ with your spouse. What should
a believer say and how should he act in front of the spouse who is not a
believer?
First, we must understand that having a spouse who is not
willing to participate in the most sacred and important aspects of life are a
very lonely and fragile place to be. It can be very disappointing and it could
be so easy to translate those feelings into bitterness and contempt toward a
spouse. But, of course, that is not the answer! Intercessory prayer is critical
for this situation. It is active part evangelism. As spouse who is a believer,
you must realize that you cannot change your husband or wife. Only God can do
that.
Also, be careful not to become distant from your spouse. Pray
that God will bring (or keep) you together. Your prayer should be twofold,
asking God to help your spouse be responsive to him and to help you display the
fruit of the Spirit. The Message describes this so well” “What happens when we live God’s way? He
brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an
orchard—things like affection for others…a sense of compassion in the heart…we
find ourselves involved in loyal commitments…able to marshal and direct our
energies wisely” ( Gal. 5:22-23 Message). When we are active in our prayer
life, we will discover that our testimony may be less about what we say and
more about how we act.
It is also important to learn how to best approach our spouse
concerning spiritual issues. Gary Thomas gives an excellent study on this topic
that is defined as “sacred pathways.” Basically, just as in school we learn in
different ways, we learn spirituality through different means. It is important
to discover what would attract our spouse to Christ. Is our spouse more
responsive to a naturalist, traditionalist, or enthusiast? Most spouses will
reach out only in the path that is their favorite, not in their partner’s path.
Consequently, what brings one spouse the most joy may bring only emptiness and
confusion in the life of the other.
Finally, above all else, we must love our spouse. We must
stop trying to change our spouse and focus instead on his or her positive
qualities. As followers of Christ we have experienced unconditional love. God
loved us before our relationship with him ever started. We must love our spouse
in the same way. This means respecting her likes, dislikes, interests, and
choices. It means being willing to be involved in and support his commitments
and dreams, unless these things would violate biblical teachings. Once again,
it is how we live out our life—by our words, actions, and attitudes—that will
influence our spouse.
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